Loneliness is a feeling anyone can experience no matter their relationship status. Whether you are single, married, in a romantic, or in a long-distance relationship, we are all bound to feel alone at some points in life. If you are feeling lonely in your relationship, here’s what it means, and the ways out of this solitary state.
What does it mean to feel lonely in a relationship?
Everyone has their own interpretation of what loneliness means to them.
To some in most relationships, feeling lonely means not being emotionally connected to their significant other. Others view loneliness as a state of not being heard or listened to by their partner.
For those in a long-distance relationship, feeling alone can mean the absence of their partner. This emotional state makes them feel isolated, forsaken, depressed, and with no one to turn to.
In fact, research shows that loneliness is a universal phenomenon that has an evolutionary basis.
Is it okay to feel lonely in a relationship?
Feeling alone is a normal emotion anyone can experience, whether they’re in a short-distance relationship, or in a long-distance one. These feelings can occur when you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner, or missed their presence especially those in a long-distance relationship.
Signs of loneliness in a relationship
When you notice any of the following, they’re signs you’re feeling alone in your relationship.
1. You feel emotionally disconnected from your partner
Emotional intimacy is needed to sustain a relationship. But when loneliness craves into your relationship, the first thing it does is to lessen the feelings or bond between you and your significant other.
You will no more have the willingness to express your feelings or share deep thoughts with your partner.
2. You feel depressed
Loneliness can wreck your sleep and make you depressed.
If you ever find yourself having a sleepless night as a result of some issues bothering you about your relationship, it may be a sign you feel alone in the relationship.
Loneliness makes you sad. You will always feel like you have no one to talk to or share your emotions with, not minding that your partner is around.
3. You feel unheard by your partner
The desire of everyone in a relationship is to speak and be listened to. But once you’re not getting this (attention) from your partner, you will always feel isolated.
Loneliness can make you feel unnoticed or unloved by your significant other.
4. You isolate yourself
Loneliness can make you not want to talk to anyone, including your partner.
Instead of discussing issues bothering you with your significant other, you will prefer to keep it to yourself. It’s a sign of loneliness.
Most times, you notice that you hardly communicate with your partner as you do before.
5. You crave your partner’s presence
Loneliness can make you crave more of your partner’s presence than their affection. This happens to those in both short-distance and long-distance relationships.
Because this emotion makes you feel alone or not wanted, you will always seek an opportunity to keep yourself occupied by trying to make new friends online or even engage in online dating. And this seems to be your ways of dealing with your solitary state.
Why do we feel lonely in a relationship?
Below are the major causes of loneliness in a relationship.
1. Inability to communicate your feelings to your partner
We feel alone in a relationship when we find it hard to communicate how we feel to our significant other. This can be caused by your partner’s unwillingness to listen or act when you complain, or their toxic behaviors.
Everyone wants to be acknowledged or valued in their relationship. But once these regards are not there, we feel disconnected from our partner. And this brings a decrease in intimacy or love in a relationship.
Most couples feel alone as a result of the physical distance between them and their spouse.
This happens mostly to those in a long-distance relationship, and those whose partners hardly have enough time to spend with them at home.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. The physical distance between you and your partner can make you feel alone, especially if you seldomly communicate with each other.
3. You’re often ignored
Being ignored by your partner can make you feel isolated. Whether they deliberately refuse to reciprocate your love or fail to listen to your opinions. All these can make you feel alone in your relationship.
For instance, they ignore your desire for sex, cuddling, or even kissing.
4. Hard times
Facing some difficult tasks all alone without receiving any emotional support from your partner can also make you feel lonely and unwanted in your relationship.
At least, everyone needs both physical and emotional assistance from their significant other when they’re passing through hard times.
5. Lack of trust
Lack of trust in a relationship contributes to why people feel abandoned and rejected by their partner.
Trust issues make you feel like you’re no more valued by your partner. And this brings unhappiness in a relationship, which leads to a lonely life.
Although you may not be physically separated from your partner, you have emotionally disconnected yourself from them. More especially, if your partner does not believe anything you say at all. It really drains.
Effects of loneliness in a relationship
- It brings unhappiness in a relationship
- It decreases intimacy
- Loneliness can make you hopeless in a relationship
- It brings depression and anger
What to do to stop feeling alone in a relationship?
1. Do not hide your feelings to yourself
Always try to communicate your emotions, to your partner. Whether good or bad feelings, do not keep them to yourself. Because if you do, you will end up being depressed, and then, lonely will creep in.
If you’re having a problem getting your partner’s attention, good communication skills can help you resolve this challenge.
Observe your partner to know when they’re in a good mood to listen to you. Tell them how you feel and expect feedback from them. Try to not make them feel judged or criticized.
Here are the ways to improve communication in a relationship.
2. Occupy your mind with fascinating activities
If your loneliness is a result of the physical distance between you and your partner, find some activities that excite you to help overcome this solitary state.
I suggest you chat with friends online or even engage in online dating just to keep yourself busy.
For those in a long-distance relationship, consider making a video chat with your partner, and maintain consistent communication with them to avoid feeling alone.
3. Spend more time together
Most times, loneliness comes in a relationship as a result of little or no time spent together by couples.
Maximizing the time you spend together will help you overcome this loneliness.
Consider visiting each other once in a while if you are in a long-distance relationship.
Have you ever felt lonely in your relationship before? Share your advice in the comment section below.