Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. Learn everything about forgiveness in a Relationship.
Most times, we find it very difficult to forgive, not because we can’t, but because we are not willing to let go.
Forgiveness is very important in a relationship because it sustains and makes a relationship healthy. Unlike honesty in a Relationship, forgiveness keeps a relationship moving without any encumbrances.
Read also, quotes about forgiveness in love.
What is forgiveness in a Relationship?
Forgiveness in relationships simply means changing your attitude, feelings, thoughts and action towards your partner for what they’ve done in the past. It means putting off the negative feelings you have for your partner and being more positive to them. For instance, when you let go of grudges, anger, bitterness, revenge or the retaliation you have in mind for your partner, you’ve forgiven them.
Forgiveness is all about letting go of wrongs. Maybe your partner hurt your feelings in the past by cheating on you, abusing you, etc. immediately you decide to let go of their wrongs and move on, whether they apologized to you or not, you’ve forgiven them.
A relationship cannot work without forgiveness because two people cannot walk together except they be in agreement. When you forgive your partner, you’re simply telling him/her that you still want the both of you to continue the relationship.
According to Research, “Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness”
Importance of Forgiveness in Relationships
1. Forgiveness contributes to a healthy relationship.
For anyone to have a loving romantic relationship, he/she must be willing to pardon their partner anytime he/she does something wrong.
2. It sustains a Relationship.
Most couples fail to have a long-lasting relationship because they lack the ability to forgive their partner. To endure hard times in a relationship, you must learn to let go of wrongs. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but strength. The greatest revenge is forgiveness.
3. It brings satisfaction.
When you forgive, you’re pulling off the loads you have been carrying for so long.
One who fails to forgive finds it difficult to live a happy life and enjoy their relationship or marriage. Forgiveness brings joy and satisfaction.
How to forgive and move on in a Relationship
It is not always easy to forgive and forget, but with time, you will permanently erase everything from your memory.
Below are the things you can do to be more forgiving in a relationship.
How to forgive someone in a Relationship
1. Listen to your partner:
The first step to forgiving your partner is to listen to them.
Let’s assume they came to you to apologize for cheating on you, lying or any other thing they did to hurt your feelings, pay attention to their excuses. Don’t be in a haste to dismiss them or their excuses. Listen to them, it will open your heart to let go of their past mistakes.
2. Change your perception:
The way you interpreted their cause of action may be what is hindering you from forgiving them. For instance, your partner cheated on you, and your interpretation to that is ‘He/she hates me’. Of course, if someone truly loves you, they wouldn’t like to hurt your feelings. But stop interpreting it that way so that you can be able to forgive them.
What you have to do is to try and understand your partner. Maybe he/she does not have a justifiable reason for hurting you, but your aim is to forgive and forget. So, all you have to do is to try and understand them. Stop interpreting their action the way you’ve been doing before.
3. Be determined to forgive:
No matter what you do, if you have not decided to forgive someone, you will never pardon them.
Forgiveness comes from the heart and not from your words (I have forgiven you).
For one to be able to pardon and let go of wrongs, you must be determined to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice or decision you take in your heart. When you’ve decided to forgive your partner, nothing can ever stop you from doing that.
So, be determined to forgive whether they apologized to you or not.
4. Learn to love again:
For you to permanently forget what your partner did in the past, you must learn how to start loving them again. Although it may not be easy, with time, you will be able to do that.
Start expressing your love again. Don’t say ‘they don’t deserve your love anymore’. If you do, you will end up still struggling to forgive them.
Why do we find it difficult to forgive someone?
Most times, we find out that we struggle a lot to pardon someone and completely forget their mistakes, why?
1. We’re determined to take revenge:
Revenge is sweet. Everyone wants to reward others according to what they have done. You just feel you can’t stand and watch your offender or defaulter go unpunished.
2. You feel they don’t deserved to be forgiven:
When someone hurts you deeply, you may deliberately fail to forgive them simply because you think they don’t deserve forgiveness. Maybe they have a bad character or have hurt you so deeply.
3. You thought that forgiveness is a sign of weakness:
As I have stated earlier, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. Rather, it is a sign of strength over a weak person.
Many thought that immediately they forgive someone, they have suddenly become inferior to that person. But its not so.