It pains to get stuck in the friend zone, especially when you have romantic feelings for your friend. But, how do you transition from being friends to a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even a lover?
Today, I’m going to share with you, my advice on how to get out of the friend zone. Read on to learn how to move into a romantic relationship with the guy or the girl that friend-zoned you.
What does it mean to be in the friend-zone?
Wikipedia described the friendzone as ” a situation in which one person in a mutual friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship with the other person, while the other does not.”
In other words, your friend is not ready to reciprocate your love or the romantic feelings you have for them. Rather, they end up telling you “let’s just be friends.” It’s a sign you’ve been friend-zoned.
Can I ever get out of the friend zone?
Yes! It is possible to be more than friends with your friend. But be ready to put in more effort and wait patiently, as your friend will not turn into a lover, overnight.
Why do people get friend-zoned?
People often get dumped in the friend zone for the following reasons:
1. He or she isn’t into you
If a guy or a girl isn’t romantically or sexually attracted to you, there are 100% chances that they will dump you in the friend zone.
But to avoid being just friends, you should try flirting with him or her always. For instance, instead of calling them your best friend, try to call them your crush to know their reaction.
This will make them to realize the romantic feelings you have for them, and will likely develop interest in you.
2. You failed to make the first move
You often get friend-zoned because you fail to make your intentions clearer to your friend. For instance, you want to be more than friends but fail to tell them you’re crushing on them.
It will only make them think you’re not interested in a romantic or sexual relationship.
3. You are too nice to them
It is good to be nice to your friends. But when you want to be more than friends, you should learn to say no to certain requests.
When you act too nice to a friend, you will end up becoming their best friend instead of their boyfriend or girlfriend.
So, you pay too much attention to your friend, that is why you end up being in a platonic friendship even when you want to be more than friends with them.
4. They’re not interested
You can get stuck in a friendship if your friend only likes you as a friend and nothing more. This can be triggered by a lack of attraction.
They don’t find you attractive enough to move into a romantic relationship with you. Or that they’re afraid of being hurt in a relationship.
They’re simply not sure of their feelings for you. They would rather remain friends with you than end up being in a toxic relationship.
Another reason may be that they’re already dating someone else and chose to remain friends forever with you.
How to know if you’re in the friend zone
Still wondering if you’re heading to the friend zone, here are some signs to observe.
1. They ignore your romantic gestures
If you ever find your friend trying to avoid you when you try hugging or kissing them, it is a sign you’re just friends.
They play down on you when you try flirting with them. For instance, when you tell them ‘I love you’ over the text, they end up laughing or replying “Hmmm” or “I know.”
2. They don’t bother to please you
You try your best to make them happy, but they don’t bother to gratify your emotional needs.
They can dress anyhow to your house, without trying to look attractive. They ignore you when you try to make them pamper or coddle you a little bit. It is another sign you’re just friends with him or her.
3. They flirt with the opposite sex in your presence
They flirt with other guys or girls when you hang out with friends.
You end up seeing them giving out their number to the guy or girl, without even considering that you are around or how you will feel.
4. They get in touch only when they’re in need
They hardly text you first on social media. But when they finally do, they end up making a request or asking you to subscribe for them.
5. They don’t care about what you think
He or she can undress in your presence without even thinking about what you will say. They’re not trying to seduce you. But they’ve already taken you as their brother or sister.
Also, they talk to you as they like, without thinking about hurting your feelings. All these indicate you are in the friendzone.
How to Escape the Friend Zone
Here are 5 things that will help you move from being friends to a more committed relationship.
1. Spark attraction
Physical attraction contributes to why people friend zones you. But to move out of this zone, make yourself attractive.
He or she may want a platonic friendship with you, simply because they don’t find you physically or sexually attractive enough.
You may be beautiful or handsome, but being charming is not all about the way you dress or how you look. You can make a friend fall in love with you by the way you walk, speak or interact with them.
Be the type of man or woman he or she wants in their life. You can know the type of partner they want by their personality.
What type of people do they associate with? If he or she is the type that likes smokers or drinkers, are you in that category?
What if they are the type that wants a man or a woman with the fear of God? Do you think you will be a good fit for them?
2. Don’t always be available to them
Being too nice to a friend can ruin your chances of being more than friends with them.
Avoid satisfying every of their needs. Make yourself scare so they will miss you.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The moment they notice you’re not showing them so much love and attention anymore, they will think they’re losing you and will start chasing after you, especially if they like you.
This will increase your chance of escaping the friend zone.
3. Try flirting with them
Avoid the “hello” “how was your day” conversation.
Try flirting with him or her often without appearing as being desperate.
Flirting with a friend is a way to tell them you have feelings for them and wants to be more than friends.
You may not say it out, but your texts will interpret your motive.
4. Avoid being desperate
Your friend will not fall in love with you if he or she realize that you are too clingy.
Don’t let them know you’re deeply in love with them. But be confident and always say “No” or “Yes” when the need arises.
Do not beg them to be more than friends with you, if they refuse to. Rather, learn to respect yourself and give them the silent treatment.
5. Don’t be afraid to move on
Don’t be afraid to let go of a friend that wants nothing more than a friendship from you. You have nothing to lose especially if you’re the only one investing in them.
Learn to ignore them and move on with your life. You will surely find another friend who will be ready to love you for who you are, and become your ideal partner.
So, the only alternative left is to end the friendship. Do it without remorse, and move on with your life.
How to avoid being friend zoned
1. Make your intentions known in the beginning
If you want to avoid being placed in the friend zone, you should learn to open up to your friend and tell them how you feel about them at the beginning of the friendship.
Don’t assume they know or that you will suddenly turn into lovers someday. Although it happens most times, but not to everyone.
2. Avoid treating them like your siblings
The moment you start treating your friend like your brother or your sister, or that you allow them to introduce you to their friends as their siblings, you will surely end up being just friends.
Be nice to them, but not overnice. Treat them like a friend and also like a lover at the same time. This will make them realize on time, that you have feelings for them.
3. Give them space
Be mysterious to your friend. Don’t be too predictable. This will prompt them to start digging deeply to knowing you more.
Give them some space to miss and desire you the more. Distance yourself from them. You can cease all forms of communication with them for a while.
4. Improve your self-worth
Work on yourself to become irresistible to them. Improve your life to become a better version of yourself.
Learn to love yourself and add more value to your life and that of your friend. This will make them try their best not to lose you. In other words, they will be willing to become more than friends with you just to remain in your life.
Do you have other points to share with us? Drop them in the comment section. Good luck.