If you are struggling to build new friendships, here are some tips that will help you meet people, and start a good conversation with them to build healthy connections that will improve your life.
You may be wondering, how do I make good friends? Maybe you lack the confidence to meet new people. Don’t feel bad about yourself. You are not the only one in that category. Shy people, introverts and even extroverts struggle to make friends.
Having good friends is better than being with a multitude of friends who adds no meaning to your life. Meeting new people gives us the opportunity to make new friends. But meeting the right people increases our chances of having true friends.
Benefits of having friends
In the system of life, friendship is very necessary for survival. No man can live alone, without the help of others.
One of the benefits of having friends is that they help make life easier for us, especially in hard times. Friends as one of our closest families, support us physically, emotionally, by reducing our stress and depression, and even spiritually. Good friends help us to stop feeling lonely or isolated. They bring joy to our lives, boost our self-worth, and make us feel loved.
But lack of social connection can make you feel isolated, it can lead to excessive drinking of alcohol, smoking and can even drain your self-esteem and confidence. Research also proves that not having friends can make anyone feel “cursed”
Important qualities to look for in a friend
Finding loyal friends is never easy at all. But no matter the type of friends you want in your life, here are some necessary things to look out for while trying to make new friends.
- A good friend accepts you for who you are, and not because of what they will gain in return.
- They make sacrifices for you
- A nice friend supports you in hardship
- They help to improve your life
- They do not expose your secrets
- You can easily trust them
- They always protect you
One thing I want you to know about good friendships is that it makes you feel good. Any friendship that does not support your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being is not healthy for you. Some friendships drain.
So, before we jump into how to make better friends, here are some crucial questions I want you to ask yourself. These questions will help you to know if your frienship is worth it or not.
- Does this friendship make any positive impact in my life?
- How do I feel after spending time with this person?
- Am I proud of who I am when I’m with this friend? Or do I fake myself just to impress him or her?
- Does this person treat me with respect?
- Can I truly trust this person and fully commit myself to them?
- How does he or she treat other people?
- Are there signs this person is not him or herself when we are together?
- Does this person try to control or manipulate me?
The summary of the above questions is, if you feel good being in that friendship, then it is a good one. But if you don’t, then consider making a shift.
Why do I struggle to make friends?
Whether you want a casual friendship, an acquaintance, or a close friend, it is never easy to make friends at all. People struggle to make friends because of their personalities. Whether an introvert, extrovert, or even a shy person.
An introvert or a shy person struggles to make friends because they feel uncomfortable putting themselves out there socially. It is not that they are anti-social, but they are just selective socially. They are not just the type that enjoys wide social settings. And most times, they lack the courage to approach people or start a conversation with a stranger. They would rather spend time alone, or with a few friends they trust, than going out to meet new people. That is why they struggle to make new friends.
Coming to extroverts, not all extroverted people make more friends. The reason is that they are too outspoken. And not everyone, especially introverts, want a talkative as a friend.
How to make good friends
Below are some tips that will help you to attract good friends to yourself. If you are struggling to meet people and have more friends, here are some tips on how to make better friends and equally keep them.
1. Go out to meet new people
You cannot make friends sitting alone at home. You have to go out to meet new people in order to increase your chances of having more friends who will support you.
Places like bars, public transports, online, birthday parties or nightclubs, a library, gym, and church fellowships are where you can get new friends.
If you are an introvert or a shy person who doesn’t like wide social settings, you can start by going out with a few of your friends. Start accepting invitations to go to a birthday party. This will expose you to more people, maybe your friends’ friends. And before you know it, you have already boost your confidence to start approaching strangers and start a conversation with them.
2. Be open and nice to people you meet
Being good to people does not mean you should try to impress everyone you meet. It is not possible. Everyone must not like you. But try to be open-minded and a better person to everyone that comes in contact with you. What do I mean?
To make good friends, you should:
- Be mindful of how you talk to people
- Be willing to render unconditional help to those who need your assistance, and
- Make sacrifices for others to attract the right friends to yourself.
Friendships don’t just begin. One person must initiate it, either through a spoken word (conversation) or by actions. So, the way you treat others will either attract them to you, and turn them into loyal and trustworthy friends, or make you lose the opportunity of having new friends.
3. Be the good friend you want in your life
To attract good friends to yourself, you must first, be good yourself. If you want to have an honest friend you can trust, then you must be honest and trustworthy too.
People will like you and want to build a relationship with you if they find out you have good qualities that make a good friend.
- Are you honest enough to have honest friends?
- Can other people trust you?
If your answer to the above questions is positive, then your chances of making good friends are high. But if your answers are negative, then you should try to improve your life first.
Friendships shape our lives. Whether you are trying to make friends in school, at work, or during this covid, here’s a summary of how to get supportive friends:
- Go out to meet new people
- Be open and nice to everyone you meet by supporting others and treating everyone with respect.
- Be the best friend you want in your life.