Not every friendship is meant to be fixed after falling apart. But some are worth our time and efforts, simply because they add value to our lives. Learn how to mend your broken friendship today.
Friends are one of the closest families that we have. I always wonder how the world would look like if there is nothing like friendship. It is very easy to make friends but difficult to keep them. If you’ve messed up your friendship and seek to reconnect with your friend, here are simple steps to take to rekindle that cordialness.
Why do friendships fall apart?
Friendships suddenly end for the following reasons:
1. Poor communication skills
Friendships end because we lack the ability to amicably resolve issues when they arise between us and our friends. We simply lack the right words or ways to approach those problems in order to find a better solution for them.
Good friends are known to be the people we trust most. But when that confidence is no more, we call it a quit.
Betrayal ruins a friendship. No one would like to associate with a disloyal friend. Loyalty is very crucial for a friendship to work.
3. Unnecessary or too many expectations
We make friends in order to find and offer help to each other. With this mindset, everyone has one or two expectations of their friends. But too much of it brings conflict in a friendship.
Friends disconnect from each other when there are too many expectations they can’t fulfill or tolerate anymore. And this contributes to why friends quarrel or fight over unnecessary things.
We expect our friends to love us more than anyone else, especially if you contribute much to the success of the friendship. But when those needs are not met, we tend to withdraw or bring an end to the friendship.
4. Value change
Friends flock together so far as they share the same ideology. But once one person changes, either in character or their mentality, it brings discomfort to the other person. This, most of the time makes the friendship awkward, and likely brings an end to it.
Should you fix a broken friendship?
Every friendship that adds value to your life is worth fixing. Whether you were the cause of the breakup or not, consider mending such friendship if it has a positive impact on your life.
How to mend a broken friendship
1. Discover what triggered the breakup
Did your friendship end because of you or your friend? Are there characters or attitudes you exhibit your friend frowns on? Are there words you spoke out of anger that contributed to the breakup?
Asking yourself these questions will help you discover the root of the problem. No one can ever find a solution to an illness without diagnosing the problems first.
So, to fix a failed friendship, find out why you broke up with your friend in the first place.
2. Determine if it is worth repairing
Not every friend deserves to be in your life. Some friends are fake and do not deserve your time and efforts.
Properly examine the type of friendship you had with your friend to know if it’s worth fixing or not. For instance, have you ever benefited from the relationship since you became friends? Or are they the only ones taking from you. Such friendship is one-sided and not worth fixing.
3. Consider reaching out to them
The third step is to reach out to your friend.
It is not a bad thing if you reach out to your friend first. But before then, make sure you’ve given them some space to heal first, before contacting them.
Make them realize how bad you feel over what happened between the both of you. Tell them the friendship wouldn’t have failed if you understood each other better.
Try to know how they feel about the friendship. Whether they will still find the heart to come back to you or not.
3. Apologize and reconcile with them
Swallow your pride and apologize to him or her. Even if you were not the cause of the problem, just tell them you’re sorry just for peace to reign.
A short apology letter from you is capable of helping you regain your fractured friendship. Therefore, humble yourself and tell them you’re sorry for everything that happened.
Here is a way to apologize to someone you’ve hurt.
4. Build trust and respect
Trust and respect are necessary for every friendship. Now that you’ve apologized to your friend, it is time to show them you’ve sincerely changed for good.
Avoid those things they frown on and make sure you respect their boundaries. This will help you earn their love, trust and become good friends again.
When should you stop fixing a broken friendship?
You should consider giving up on a friendship if it constantly sabotages your self-esteem. A real friend who wants to be with you will respect and love you for who you are. But if they don’t care about your efforts to make the relationship work, then you should call it a quit.
Read also: The 12 qualities that define a good friend.