Lack of communication in relationships

How Lack Of Communication Affects A Relationship

Lack of communication destroys a relationship. It is a state whereby couples deliberately or indeliberately refuse to exchange information or discuss the issues affecting their relationship.

When communication stops in a relationship, couples become mysterious to each other. Various relationship problems and misunderstandings creep in when communication deteriorates. The reason is that good communication helps you to know and analyze your partner’s feelings and thoughts about you, and your relationship. But when that communication is not there, you will hardly know much about how your partner feels.

Communication breakdown has been identified as one of the major reasons why relationships don’t last long. Research by Karney and Bradbury (1995) shows that “changes in communication are the mechanism by which satisfaction in a relationship changes.” In other words, the absence of communication brings unhappy relationships. 

Why does the absence of communication destroy relationships?

The absence of communication kills a relationship. Couples who hardly communicate with each other seldomly live happily with each other. And this contributes to why most people decide to end their relationships. Good communication helps you to be sensitive to your partner’s emotional and physical needs. And when these needs are met, you feel satisfied in your relationship.

Couple who refused to talk to each other after quarreling

Reasons for lack of communication between couples

Below are the various reasons why communication stops in a relationship.

1. Misunderstanding

The wrong use of language, tone, and facial expression can discourage one from communicating effectively with their partner. Couples who always end up quarreling, fighting, or arguing with each other after a conversation will hardly like to discuss issues or whatever is bothering them.

Misunderstanding of each other’s communication styles, tone, or body language brings deficiency in communication between two lovers in a relationship.

2. Inability to comprehend what is being discussed

We are all born with different capacities and educational levels or backgrounds. That is why, while communicating with your partner, try to bring yourself down to the level he or she is in. Avoid using a grammatical expression, or tone he or she will find difficult to comprehend, as this hinders communication in relationships.

3. Being too busy with work

Most people are too eager to do certain things. They’re always in a haste to go to work, and too impatient to listen to what their partner has to say. When they return from work, they give unnecessary excuses like-I’m tired.

Even if your partner is so boring in communication, tolerate them. Do not be in a haste to dismiss them simply because you think they have nothing relevant to say.

4. Lack of courage

Constant intimidation by one’s partner can diminish your ability to communicate with your significant other. Most couples don’t have any serious discussion in their relationships as a result of how one person reacts when an issue is raised.

5. Distraction

In the modern world of the internet, most lovers hardly have time for their partners. Rather, they spend all their time chatting and accessing their various social media accounts. Social media is a distraction to most couples. That is why they hardly settle down to discuss with their partner.

6. Lack of intimacy

The absence of Intimacy between couples or romantic partners can reduce the amount of time they spend together. Any relationship without close familiarity or love can never improve communication. Whether sexual intimacy, emotional or any other type of intimacy is highly needed in every relationship.

7. Long absence of one’s partner

Apart from communicating over the phone, the long absence of one’s partner contributes to communication breakdown in relationships. Couples who hardly stay together or see each other seldomly communicate effectively. Unless they have good communication skills that exist among them.

Signs of bad communication in a relationship

  • Being passive-aggressive
  • Arguing, criticizing, and verbally abusing each other
  • Stonewalling
  • Concluding what your partner has said before he or she lands
  • Inability to compromise
  • Getting defensive

Effects of lack of communication on a relationship

Below is how the absence of communication affects a relationship.

  • It brings loneliness
  • It decreases the intimacy that exists between you and your partner
  • No communication brings dissatisfaction
  • It brings a negative perception of your partner
  • It can make you feel unseen or unheard
  • It can escalate the little conflict that exists between you and your partner
  •  Inability to plan for the future together
  • Communication breakdown diminishes trust

How to fix communication problems in a relationship

1. Understand your partner’s communication styles

Everyone has their own style of communicating with people. If your partner is someone who enjoys some quiet time alone, then you should consider giving them the space they needed. Instead, try communicating with them little by little while giving them that desired space.

On the other side, if your partner is the type that loves spending quality time communicating with their significant other, then you should learn to adapt to his or her own style. All this calls for compromise. Be ready to sacrifice certain things to keep your relationship healthy and happy.

2. Determine the right time for discussion

Time is everything. Your free time may not be your partner’s free time. It is left for both of you to decide the time convenient for you to have your conversations. Not figuring out the appropriate time will often bring conflicts between you and your partner as one person may want to have long conversations now but the other person is not ready for it.

3. Beware of non-verbal communication

There are different types of communication. And you should be aware of all of them. Beware when your partner passes non-verbal information. This can trigger a quarrel or a fight if you are not sensitive enough to discern the message they are trying to convey.

For instance, silent treatment does not always mean all is fine. Most times, you have to figure this out yourself.

4. Try to settle any past issues that have not been resolved

Unresolved past issues can hinder your communication. Therefore, you should try to settle those issues first before thinking about discussing a new idea.

Most couples find it difficult to forget the past. And if your partner is such a person, what do you think will happen in the way you communicate with each other?

Avoid saying “forget the past” without settling those issues. This will make your partner feel satisfied and open-minded to digest new information.

5. Be honest 

Dishonesty is another thing that destroys communication in relationships. Once your partner discovers that you have the habit of lying to them, they will rarely believe or trust you anymore.

But once you are honest and open with your partner, you will discover that there will be no such thing as “communication difficulty” in your relationship again.

Before you go, here’s our post about how to improve communication in a relationship. 

ONWE DAMIAN
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