Is it Love or Crush? Learn everything about Love vs crush in this article.
What is Crush?
Crush is defined as a short-termed feeling of lust or infatuation for someone. When you are crushing on someone, you simply like them base on their physical appearance. Unlike infatuation, crush is never a real feeling. It comes quickly and disappears with a warning. It makes you think you have found the right person (Mr Perfect), but as time goes on, the feelings will disappear. At that time, you will realize that you were never in love but just lusting after your partner.
What is Love?
Love is an affectionate feeling. Love is a feeling that lasts for a long period of time.
Both love and crush are feelings we develop for someone we admire. But the difference is that crush is based on physical appearance. Maybe you were attracted by his/her beauty, physical look/appearance, material things, etc.
Difference between Love and Crush
Before I proceed to differentiate love from a crush, read this true-life story from Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s book titled ” How to choose a life partner”. It will help you to understand how crush works.
“I was in a recording break on location when my wife called. She sounded desperate. “What is the matter?” I asked.
‘It’s Peter again, ‘she replied. ‘I got a call from Lillian. She said Peter has just kidnapped Sefia.’
Peter is my wife’s younger brother, Lilian is his live-in girlfriend and Sefia is their daughter. Things have been very rough for them. It all started five years ago. Peter lived with my wife when she was single aboout six years ago. They always had their problems and eventually she asked him to move out of her house.
About a year later she got a visit from Peter who came to inform her that he had got Lillian pregnant and that she was expecting a baby. Lilian was now living with him and he needed some financial assistance. After some time, he discovered that there was no sign of a baby growing and he confronted her but she said she had miscarried the baby. Since they were already living together, she then became pregnant and they had a child, Sefia.
Little did my wife and her family know that Peter, who used to be a dedicated Christian, was now drinking, smoking and keeping bad company. Because of his family background, both he and his live-in girlfriend concealed their drinking and smoking when they were with their families. They never formalized their relationship, which went on for four years before disintegrating.
None of them could find any reason to be committed to each other and each accused the other of cheting and lack of commitment. Nothing they did worked, their businesses failed despite all the help and contributions from friends and family. Everything fell apart. Lilian had no job. Peter could not provide for the family on his own. Sefia had to leave school, because they could not pay her fees.
Finally Lillian and Peter had a bad quarrel about his debtors that came knocking and harassed her. She took all her things and her daughter and went to live with her youngest sister. Peter is out of the relationship, while Lilian is left all alone to cope with Sefia. One single act of lust had left three lives in pain.”
The story above describes how quick it takes to crush on someone, and how fast it takes to end the relationship.
Love endures. “It is the glue for having a solid and strong relationship” says “Sylvia Smith
Below are the various ways to differentiate love from crush.
Love Vs Crush.
The followings differentiates love from crush.
|1. Crush is based on physical attraction||Love is not based on physical attraction|
|2. Crush is short-termed||Love is everlasting|
|3. Crush sees Perfection||Love is blind|
|4. It is full of expectations||Love is contentment|
|5. Crush is full of Jealousy||Love never gets jealous|
|6. It is easily offended||Love is not easily angered|
|7. Crush is lust||Love is Genuine and unconditional|
|8. Crush takes no risk||Love makes sacrifices|
|9. Crush makes you irrational||Love calms you down|
|10. It holds grudges||Love forgives|
How do You know, if it’s Love or Crush?
- Crush is based on physical attraction:
One of the differences between love and crush is that crush has to do with the physical likeness. It is not as deep as love is.
You crush on someone simply because you like them and not because you love them. Maybe he/she is beautiful, sexy, rich, handsome etc. All these have to do with physical attraction. You’re just being captivated by what you saw in him/her. Love is beyond physical attraction. It is very deep and goes beyond someone’s appearance or beauty.
- It is short term:
Crush is short term. Its life span is nothing to be compared with love. Love is everlasting. It has no end and therefore does not die. When you have a crush on someone, the feelings can fade anytime.
You may be crushing on someone simply because he/she is beautiful. When that beauty disappears, your feelings will also disappear. But if it is love, love endures forever. It does not fade away because of a bad situation.
- Crush sees perfection:
At the initial stage of falling in love (which is crushing on someone), you feel like that person is perfect in all ramification. You imagine yourself marrying him/her because you feel you have found the right person. But love does not act that way. When you are in love, you will always bear in mind that your partner is not perfect. He/she will eventually wrong you someday. And you are ever ready to forgive.
When you are crushing on someone, you always see perfection in him/her. You tend to push every other person aside simply because you thought you have finally met the right person.
- It is full of expectations:
When you have a crush on someone, you always have high expectations. You expect them to call you every now and then. But it is not so with love. These expectations can be material things or desires, etc. But Love is contentment. It is always satisfied with the little it has.
When you’re crushing, you always expect your partner to be perfect. You expect them to shower their affections on you. Any day he/she fails to call you, you feel bad. That is a sign of a crush and not love.
- Crush is full of jealousy:
Love can never be jealous, but crush is full of jealousy.
When you have a crush on someone, you get jealous when others (opposite sex) approach your Crush. Love is not so. It has nothing to get jealous of.
Difference between Love and Crush
- Crush is easily offended:
Whereas crush is easily angered, love is not easily offended.
When you are having a crush on someone, you get easily offended when they do things like: when they fail to pick your call or call you, When he/she forgets your birthday, or when they don’t reply your text on time. But love isn’t so. Love respects and is not easily provoked.
- Crush is lust:
Crush has to do with short-termed feelings. I call it lust because it fades away immediately you see another person you think is more beautiful than your Crush. It is based on physical beauty, material things, etc. But love is genuine in all ramification.
- Crush takes no risk:
Love is ever ready to lay its life for a loved one, but crush will never take such a risk.
Love makes sacrifices even at the point of death. But crush disappears at the point of difficulties.
- Crush makes you irrational:
Whereas love calms you down, crush makes you act crazy. The feelings attached to crush comes very fast and heavily, whereas love takes time to grow.
When you are crushing on someone, you can’t stop thinking about him/her. It makes you want to have him/her at all cost.
- Love forgives:
Crush holds grudges, but love forgives. It keeps no record of wrongs. When offended, it forgives. When it offends, it pleads for mercy or forgiveness. But when you are crushing on someone, a little offence from them is capable of making you break up with them.
When does crush turn into love?
A crush can turn into love the moment you decide to love that person (your crush) beyond their physical attraction. It normally takes time for that to happen if the feelings are properly nurtured. It may take up to a year, two years or more than that depending on your effort in sustaining the feelings.