Platonic friendship

How to sustain a platonic friendship

Learn everything about a non-sexual friendship in this article

Anyone can be in an intimate and affectionate friendship or relationship without engaging in sexual activities.

What does it mean to be in a Platonic Friendship

A Platonic friendship is the type of friendship that exists between two friends without any form of sexual activities involved.

A friendship is said to be non-sexual if the two friends are just friends. No form of romance is found in the relationship.

Although at some points, they may have some kind of sexual feelings of attraction (as human-being), they have vowed to keep the friendship non-sexual.

It can also be defined as a non-sexual but intimate and affectionate friendship. It can also be described as a relationship that is purely spiritual and not physical (canal).

For instance, if a girl and a guy hang out all the time but aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, they have described their friendship or relationship as non-physical. In other words, the relationship is not amorous in nature. Meaning that it is marked by the absence of romance and sex. It is love without feelings of lust.

Some assume that sexless friendships don’t succeed as they are no form of romance involved in the friendship. But how true is that?

It is very possible for anyone to be in a relationship/friendship without having sex with their partner. According to research, platonic love is named after a Greek Philosopher, Plato.

Remember that a casual friendship is different from friends with benefits or unrequited love.

Two friends sitting together and laughing at each other showing a platonic friendship

Difference Between Platonic Friendships, Unrequited Love and Friends with benefits.

When two friends who are not in any form of relationship indulges in sexual acts, they are said to be friends with benefits.

On the other hand, a friendship is non-physical when the relationship is strictly non-sexual. No form of romance like kissing, touching, or even flirting depending on the boundaries you set for the friendship.

For instance, a married man or woman who has a very close friend and a colleague in the office can be called a platonic friend if they are just mere friends.

Unrequited love is the type of love that is not often reciprocated (not often returned). For instance, crushing on a friend who doesn’t even know that you have feelings for them. Or falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same way you feel for them.

Note that it is a normal thing to develop romantic feelings for a friend, especially if you have been together for a while.

You must develop some kind of romantic or sexual feelings for your friend one day, some day especially if he/she is cute. After all, no man is an Island.

For anyone to say that they have a friendly friend, the following things must not occur in the friendship.

  • No form of sexual activities
  • No form of romance (touching and involving in long kissing) etc.

What are the Benefits of keeping a Sexless Friendship?

They are some advantages surrounding a casual friendship. Here are some of the benefits of being in a friendship that is strictly non-sexual.

1.It helps you maintain spiritual purity

2. It helps you nurture your Friendship

3. It improves communication skills

4. Support in time of needs

5. It helps build trust

6.They inspire you.

Two friends jogging on the street showing a platonic friendship

1. It helps you maintain spiritual purity:

Being friends without benefits is very important if you want to remain spiritually clean (holy).

Premarital or extra-marital sex is not advisable.

Anyone who indulges in sex before marriage is committing a great sin before God and his/her own body. 1 Corinthians 6: 13.

So, one major benefit of a non-sexual friendship is that, it will help you maintain spiritual cleanness (holiness).

2. It improves communication and Listening skills:

Platonic love helps you to learn how to listen and communicate properly.

For instance, if you’re someone who finds it difficult to open up to people, you can learn to speak your mind when you’re in a sexless friendship.

The reason is that you took him/her as your best friend, brother or sister in whom you can confide in.

Here are various ways to improve communication in your relationship.

3. Support in time of needs

Friends without benefits offers maximum support in time of needs.

For instance, there is this close friend of mine who helps me do some researches on a particular blog post anytime I need her assistance.

Assuming we are friends with benefits, I don’t think she would make such sacrifices for me. She may have come up with some excuses like; am busy, I don’t data, etc.

4. It helps to build trust:

It takes time to trust the opposite sex. But if after some years or months of being together as friends, you never engaged in sexual activities even for a day, he/she will automatically trust you.

The type of trust I mean here is sexual trust.

When a friend has confidence in you, they can visit your home anytime they like. The reason is that, they have this confidence that you will never abuse them sexually or lure them into that.

Trust is very necessary in every friendship or relationship. Here are the best ways to build trust in a relationship.

5. They inspire you

Friends without benefits inspires and encourages each other.

For instance, there is this friend of mine I assisted when she was preparing for her examinations.

I gave her some ideas on how to prepare for the exams and come out in flying colours. Not only that, but I promised to be waking her up (by calling her in the midnight) to ensure that she studied her books.

6. It helps you to learn how to nurture a friendship/Relationship

Friends with benefits spend less time nurturing their friendship. All they care is to satisfy their sexual urge anytime they feel like doing it. But when you’re in a casual friendship, you will learn how to spend more time nurturing your friendship.

For instance, they will teach you how to be caring and supportive to your partner.

Who said that sexless friendships has no benefits?.

Being mere friends with your friend has many other advantages I didn’t mention here. But think about it yourself.

Are they nothing you’re benefiting from your close friend?

If ‘NO’, then, he/she is not a true friend.

They are two different types of friends; Parasitic friends and real friends.

A parasitic friend enjoys all the benefits in your friendship, whereas, you don’t.

On the other hand, a real friend is a friend indeed. So, check your friendship to know the type of friend you have.

Giphy of platonic friendship

How to sustain a Platonic Friendship

Keeping a friendship simple is not too hard and not too easy to do.

Having and maintaining a mere friendship can be done by doing the followings:

1. Set boundaries for the Friendship

Every friendship or relationship has its own do and don’t (rules).

Setting a boundary helps you checkmate your friendship to know whether it is still casual.

For instance, you may decide to move to a Romantic relationship someday, what if your friend decides to have sex with you, how will you be able to avoid that if you don’t tell him/her at the initial stage of the relationship by setting a boundary for the friendship?

So, it is very necessary to set some guidelines for your friendship if you still want to be in a non-sexual relationship.

Tease but avoid touching

2. Tease but avoid touching each other

There is nothing wrong with teasing a platonic friend. But touching each other can lead to romance which can lead you to sex.

Sustaining a sexless friendship requires wisdom. Any little or inappropriate behaviour can bring an end to the friendship if the other person does not feel the same way you feel for them.

So, to avoid tearing your friendship apart, tease but don’t touch each other.

Am not trying to say that you shouldn’t touch them in a playful or appropriate manner. All am trying to say is that you should avoid touching them in a Romantic way. You may not like their reaction.

3. Support each other

No friendship can develop without any support from the both friends.

When your friend needs your financial, emotional or any kind of support, assist them.

Do that without having any secret agenda (ulterior motive).

4. Work on your Communication Skills

Communication is the basic thing in every healthy platonic friendships.

Develop a good listening skills.

When your friend complains about your bad habits, listen and take correction.

Don’t allow pride to destroy your Relationship.

5. Be grateful

Appreciate every effort your friend makes towards you.

Let gratitude never depart from you.

When he/she does something good, appreciate and encourage them.

6. Forgive one another

For every friendship to keep moving, forgiveness must not depart from such Relationship.

When they wrong you, pardon and forgive them.

Don’t bear grudges in your mind. Learn to let go of wrongs.


Casual friendships are the foundations of every Romantic Relationship.

The word ‘Platonic Love’ was first used by Plato. He explained that a casual friendship is one that brings out the best traits of people and brings you closer to your god. He went further to elaborate it by saying that “It is love without the feelings of lust if you will.”

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3 thoughts on “How to sustain a platonic friendship”

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