In this post, I am going to share with you some of the signs of a jealous friend and how to deal with jealousy in friendship.
Jealousy is a natural emotion in every human being. Although everyone gets jealous, the difference is how you control yourself when those feelings creep in. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster. It destroys everyone who allows it to control him/her.
When a friend expresses his/her feelings of fear, insecurity, and concern over a lack of possession or achievement, he/she is jealous. Jealousy manifests in the form of anger, gossip, envy, hatred, opposition or competition, etc.
Below are the 6 ways to identify jealousy in a friend.
Read also about how to deal with jealousy in a Relationship.
6 Signs of a Jealous Friend
1. He/she opposes you:
When a friend is jealous of you, the first thing he/she does is to oppose you in everything you do or say. For instance, he/she will always disagree with every opinion or suggestion you raise when you are having a group discussion with other friends or colleagues. A friend who is not envying you will not be objecting every of your opinion. I have noticed this several times from some of my friends and discovered that it is as a result of jealousy. When they are opposing you, they are simply trying to pull you down. He/she is not happy with your success, position or whatever that made them act jealously.
2. They get mad at you:
Some friends who display their feelings of jealousy tend to do that by developing unnecessary anger towards you.
Whenever you make a mistake or offend them, they seize the opportunity to take revenge on you. He/she is simply jealous of you. Maybe as a result of your achievement or possession.
3. They backbite you:
When a friend starts saying ill things about you, he/she may be doing that out of jealousy. Jealousy breeds gossip. When a friend is envious of you, he/she tries his/her best to paint you blue-black (destroy your reputation).
4. He/she competes with you:
Another sign that shows a friend is envying you is if he/she competes with you at all time. A friend who is happy with what you’ve accomplished does not necessarily compete with you just to beat you. Jealousy makes a friend competitive even when he/she ought not to. A jealous friend will go an extra mile in what you’ve done just to see that he/she gets to the top.
5. He/she brags about their past achievements:
If you notice that your friend always brags about his/her past achievements whenever you share your victory or success with him/her, then he/she is jealous of you.
For instance, he/she may say something like”Why disturbing us? are you the only person that has gotten such a job (or whatever term he/she may use) before? When I got mine (their own achievement or success), I didn’t make a noise. So, why disturbing us?. It is a term usually expressed by jealous friends. He/she may not say it as I stated above. But, if they say anything similar to the above mentioned, then, he/she is being jealous.
6. They don’t support you:
A jealous friend is always an enemy in disguise. You may be thinking that he/she loves you without knowing that they hate you. When a friend is jealous of you, he/she will stop supporting you, rather, they will look for a way to pull you down. It is another signs of a jealous friend.
How to deal with a Jealous Friend
“People do not express jealousy through a single emotion or a single behaviour. They instead express jealousy through diverse emotions and behaviours, which makes it difficult to form a scientific definition of jealousy” says Wikipedia
Dealing with jealousy in a friendship isn’t so hard but it can be challenging. Do the followings when you notice that a friend is jealous of you.
1.Try and understand what causes him/her to get jealous of you:
The first step to take in order to deal with a jealous friend is to know the cause of his/her jealousy. Identify what makes him/her envious of your position or whatever. Ask him/her indirectly to know why they are acting that way (jealousy). He/she may or may not give you a definite answer. If he/she refuses to tell you, then take note of their comments. Consider when the jealous comments are made. It will unveil the reasons behind their jealousy.
2. Evaluate what he/she is trying to achieve:
The next step is to figure out what your friend is trying to achieve by making those jealous comments. He/she may be saying that in order to make you feel bad about yourself or to manipulate you.
3.Talk to your friend:
Maintaining good friendship work better when good communication skill is always applied. Be open to your friend to know how you can support him/her. Encourage him/her and help them build themselves. It will help to make him/her stop being jealous of you.