Pride kills a relationship. It is a feeling that you are more important in your relationship than your partner.
When you begin to see yourself as the most important person in your relationship, it means you have given way to pride.
A proud partner never admits that he/she is wrong. He/she tries to win all arguments in order to look superior to their partner.
When pride enters into a relationship, it, first of all, brings disharmony in the relationship.
Can two walk together except they are in agreement? ‘No’.
The same thing is applicable to an ego-filled relationship. Such a relationship is often toxic as everyone (the couple) tries to be in control of the relationship.
“Pride is an elevated view of self,” says Kelvin. Too much ego is not good as it destroys a relationship.
Many relationships have fallen apart as a result of arrogance. The question now is, how do you identify a proud partner or an ego-filled relationship in order to save yourself from entering into a toxic relationship?
Below are some of the signs of pride in a relationship and how to deal with a proud partner in order to have a healthy relationship.
Read also, 7 Relationship Red Flags you shouldn’t ignore at the beginning of your relationship.
Signs of pride in your relationship.
1. You don’t admit you are wrong:
One major sign of pride in a relationship is that you or your partner are always right. You don’t admit that you are wrong. Rather you blame each other and find a way to cover up your mistakes.
Because you are a proud partner, your ego will not allow you to admit your faults.
A relationship filled with pride is full of quarrels and self-righteousness. And such a relationship is a sign of a toxic relationship.
2. You hardly apologize to your partner:
The word “I am sorry” is a very powerful word that heals broken wounds.
When you are full of yourself (proud), you hardly apologize to your partner. It is a sign of pride in your relationship.
You feel like you are too big or too important to apologize to your partner when you do something wrong. Instead of asking for forgiveness, you look for a way to justify your actions.
One who does this is simply saying “hey! I don’t care how you feel! No apologies, no regrets. Proud partners are like Narcissists in relationships.
3. You don’t value your partner’s opinion:
A proud person thinks he/she knows everything.
Likewise in a relationship, when you don’t value your partner’s opinion, thinking that he/she is too small to raise an opinion or suggestion, you are a proud partner.
The same thing is applicable to your partner if he/she does not heed or accept your advice.
5. No room for correction:
If you don’t give room for corrections, then you have given way to pride in your relationship.
For instance, you say to yourself “Why should my partner even correct me”Are we on the same level? What does he/she have to offer? etc. It is a sign of pride in a relationship.
6. Too many expectations:
When you or your partner begin to expect more than it requires from each other, pride has taken in.
For instance, you expect your partner to be the only one calling you because you think you are the most important person in the relationship.
On your birthday, you expect your partner to get you the best birthday wishes or gifts ever. It is a sign of ego in a relationship.
7. You talk to each other as you like:
Every couple ought to respect each other. But when you or your partner address each other anyhow, without even considering each other’s feelings, then, it is a sign of pride in your relationship.
Maybe you feel your partner is too quiet or that he/she is not your calibre. It is a sign of pride in you. Let go of such an attitude so that you will be able to enjoy your relationship.
Every relationship is meant to be enjoyed.
Therefore, never allow your ego to ruin your love life.
Lay aside arrogance to maintain a happy relationship.
Too much ego causes unhappiness in a relationship.
8. You intimidate your partner:
Another way pride manifest in a relationship is by intimidation.
You have grown wings, your partner can no longer talk to you.
Because you have an ego, you don’t allow your partner to discuss issues with you or point out your mistakes.
It is a sign of arrogance in a relationship.
9. Finding faults always:
A proud partner is full of criticism.
Because you are full of yourself, you no longer see the good side of your partner. Everything he/she does is wrong.
Causes of Pride in Relationships
One major thing that causes pride in love is age factor. When a couple feels like he/she deserves utmost respect and regards, he/she tend to give way to pride, forgetting that they are one with their partner.
2. Physical or Material factors:
Physical or Material factors have to do with mundane things of life. For instance, riches or wealth, beauty, educational qualification, background, etc. All these may cause a partner to become proud in a relationship.
For instance, a beautiful girlfriend or wife can be arrogant in a relationship if she allows the praises or pet names her boyfriend/husband normally calls her to get into her head.
She may say in her heart “You are not happy you found a pretty lady like me in your life”. As a result of this, she will start exhibiting some of the signs of pride in love discussed above.
3. Another thing that causes ego in relationship is how you treat your partner at the beginning of your relationship.
Did you start pampering your partner when you started dating them?
When he/she does something wrong, you tend to ignore it just to make sure you still have him/her in your life. It is another thing that can cause a partner to be excessively proud.
How to deal with Pride in a Relationship
Dealing with pride in relationships is like giving something a try. But never the less, you can handle the situation by doing these 3 things:
How to handle pride in relationships.
1.Admit your fault:
The first way to deal with pride in your relationship is to admit your faults.
Don’t always feel like you know it all or that you are above mistakes. When your partner points out your faults, admit that you are wrong. Don’t give unnecessary excuses.
It won’t help you. Rather, it will keep tearing your relationship apart.
After admitting your faults, the next thing to do is to apologize to your partner.
Pride manifest itself in this form “Why should I even say am sorry? After all, am older than my partner. My partner loves me. Whether I apologize or not, he won’t get mad at me”
Don’t feel too big to say the word ‘I am sorry’. It is a very powerful word that heals injuries and broken hearts.
So, if you really want to stop being arrogant, then learn how to apologize when you’re at fault.
3. Be humble:
Humility is a personal decision. If you’re not determined to be humble, you will always look down on others.
Discipline yourself. Determine to lower yourself so that you will be able to listen to your partner.
See him/her as your equal, even if you are older than him/her. He/she is your partner. Let love lead. Don’t allow unnecessary things to destroy your relationship.
If you are the victim, I mean your partner is arrogant and it is directly affecting you, this is what to do.
Confront your partner. Let them know that they are being too proud and it is affecting your relationship.
While trying to confront your partner, do it with meekness. He/she may not even know that they are arrogant.
So, to resolve this issue, I recommend using a good communication skill. Go on- one on one talk with your partner.
Point out their fault to them. If they apologize, forgive them. If they don’t learn to tolerate them.
Give him/her some time to change.
They may not suddenly stop being arrogant. But with time, they will learn to humble themselves and see you as an equal partner.
An ego filled relationship is bound to fail. A proud partner cannot make a good relationship until they change.
If you notice that your boyfriend or girlfriend is too proud, all you need to do is to discuss with him/her.
They may not actually know that they are too arrogant. But if you can apply a good communication skill, you will be able to resolve the issues.
Take note of the signs discussed above. If you are a victim (a proud partner), apply the 3 techniques I discussed above (how to handle pride in relationships) in other to let go of your pride.
Are there other signs you know that were not mentioned here? Share it with us in the comment box below.