The early stage of every relationship is so exciting. At this period, you tend to focus more on your partner’s good qualities. If anyone had ever told you that you’re going to break up with your partner, you wouldn’t have believed him/her because you thought you’ve found your soulmate. In this period of honeymoon, you’re probably not thinking about when or how to end the relationship. You are probably overwhelmed by your partner’s appearance; how cute he/she is, the lovely text messages you receive every day, their sweet voice, etc. After some months or years, when the honeymoon is over, and your feelings have faded away, you now discover that you are no longer attracted to your partner anymore. You now imagine if you can ever stop loving someone, simply because you want to live a single-life or just be in a relationship with another partner.
The fact is that true love never dies, it remains. Although you can stop being in love with someone you truly love, it will take a little or more time for you to completely get rid of their memory. For instance, some ex does find themselves attracted to each other even after getting married. Why? Because those feelings still exist more especially if they didn’t break up in a normal way as they ought to or that they so much love each other.
On the other side, if you are trying to fall out of love with someone who doesn’t love you back, how do you come along with that?
Unrequited love is love that is not often reciprocated. It pains a lot when you fall in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. You make them your priority, but at last, you discover that they don’t have your best interest at heart. So, how do you turn off your feelings from them?
The first thing you need to do is to believe that he/she does not deserve your love. One who doesn’t value you will never love you back. If you like, stop loving him/her and then start loving them again, they don’t care. They will rather end up treating you badly by cheating on you, disrespect, and abuse you. So, learn to distance yourself from him/her by withholding your affection. It is better to walk away from people who don’t deserve your love than to remain in a toxic relationship. Love is never by force. It ought to be given and equally received.
In all these, remember we are designed to fall out of love. And then, if the relationship is healthy and both people understand what real love is about, we fall back in love, deeper than before, explains Sheryl Paul, M.A., a Psychology Counselor from the Pacifica Graduate Institute. It is this deeper connection that makes it difficult for us to forget someone we honestly love.
How to stop loving someone you don’t want to love anymore
1. Distance Yourself:
The first way to unlove someone is to distance yourself from them. You can learn to distance yourself from your partner or ex by doing the followings:
- Stop contacting them on the phone.
- Stop visiting them
- Don’t give them a place in your heart anymore.
For instance, assuming the person you’re trying to forget and stop caring for, chats you each time you come online, stop replying to his/her texts nor return their call. Learn how to start snubbing him/her.
I have used this method of snubbing several times on different people and it really helped me to distance myself from fake friends. So, if you want to stop falling in love over again with someone, distance yourself from them.
2. Learn to move on:
Make up your mind to forget everything about your partner or ex and start a new life. If you still have their photograph, it is time to throw them away or burn them to ashes. Try to get rid of their memories (flashback)
One of the reasons why we find it difficult to fall out of love with someone we love is because we have not made up our minds to move on with our life. You’re still waiting to see if your partner will change. If it’s your ex, you still have hope that your ex will eventually come back. It doesn’t work that way. If you are not getting what you want in a relationship and you’ve tried your possible best to resolve everything but to no avail, then, its time to move on with your life.
3. Stop Showing Concern:
When you stop showing someone how much you care for them, you have suddenly stopped loving them. To love is to show concern, to be compassionate, and partake in other people’s sufferings. So, if you still show concern to your boyfriend/girlfriend or ex by giving them your attention, you will never completely stop being in love with them..
The best thing to do is to stop caring for them. Develop an ‘I don’t care’ attitude towards them.
For instance, you normally get them him/her some gifts on their day, or flowers on Valentine’s day, its time to stop it. Henceforth, withhold your affection from him/her.
4. Stop make sacrifices for them:
Love is all about sacrifice. You cannot love without making sacrifices for your loved ones. So, to put an end to the love you have for your partner, stop making sacrifices for him/her. If you have been giving them your time as part of your sacrifice for them, then its time to withhold it.
6. Find a New Partner
Finding a new partner is mainly for those who want to stop being in love with someone they can’t have. To completely cease to love your Crush or someone you can’t have, make new friends, or find for yourself a new lover. Start a new relationship and socialize with friends who will make you happy and help you forget everything about your Ex or Crush.
6. Start loving yourself:
To stop loving someone, you must learn to start loving yourself. Start focusing on yourself and forget everything about your ex or your partner.
To some, it is very easy for them to love others, but quite difficult for them to love themselves. Loving yourself first is not really a sign of selfishness. It is something you really need to do first before you can be able to love others.
If you have tried to unlove someone but to no avail, then start practicing how to love and focus on yourself. Invest in yourself. Focus on making yourself a better person than trying to love someone who doesn’t appreciate your love.
To forget someone you love does not happen overnight. With constant practice of the above-mentioned points, you will learn to stop caring for someone who doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Feel free to express yourself in the comment box below.