Rebuilding trust is possible if you have lost it. Trust is one of the key elements in a relationship. And if you expect your relationship to last longer, you need to build trust in your relationship. Without it, your relationship is bound to fail.
Building trust is something that often happens over a matter of years for different couples at different speeds. But there are ways to ensure that you have created a good atmosphere to develop trust, and ways of avoiding obstacles.
Without trust, you can’t have a healthy relationship. And yet, nearly every one of us can remember a situation where our trust has been broken.
But first, how do we establish trust? How can we rebuild the trust that has been broken?
Why is Trust so Important in a Relationship?
In order to have a deeply satisfying relationship between two people, they both have to be able to open up to each other. Both need to be prepared to be vulnerable to each other.
But if you don’t trust the other person or vice-versa, it can be difficult for your relationship. This makes no sense and most certainly it will lead to pain and disappointment.
If you want to have a relationship that will grow each of you at the deepest level, then trust is important.
So, while you want the other person to feel safe, you know the risk involved in the kind of relationship that you want. We’re not meant to be happy with superficial relations.
But to go beyond that, both people have to give an effort to create trust in the relationship and the important things that matter to them.
Is Trust More Important Than Love?
Although you may be eager to say that love is the most important part of a relationship. I would tell that in any relationship, romantic or not, trust is the most crucial thing.
Take a moment to really consider this. Imagine a relationship without trust. You and your partner love each other, but you don’t completely trust them.
Now, how would you feel when they tell you they’re going on a business trip over the weekend? Will you feel like they’re working hard to give you a good life?
Or would you think somebody from work is having an affair with them? You’d probably believe your partner is cheating on you.
Not only that, but you’re going to lose your peace of mind. The doubt in you will make you search their phone and computer, to see if they have any skeleton in their cupboard.
Love without trust doesn’t look good at all. Does it?
A relationship can quickly turn into a nightmare if there is no faith therein. Your relationship will become more unhealthy, unstable, stressful, and toxic.
Reliance is the key to a thriving relationship. Are you aware that lack of trust destroys relationships?
The Relationships Survey Indicators, 2011 claim the four main reasons cited for relationship breakdown were financial stress, communication difficulties, different expectations and values, and lack of trust.
Trust is the base on which the relationship survives life’s toughest seasons. A trustless relationship will never last a long time, no matter how much you love one another.
You’ve probably heard trust when it comes to the most important things in a relationship, and communication should come in at the top of that list.
While these are essential to a healthy relationship, none of these things happen immediately. You need to build them up, develop them, and then continue to work on them.
If you want to develop trust in your relationship and you’ve never been in a relationship before, things can be a bit more complicated. You start from scratch, which can be a good thing and a difficult thing.
In some people, learning to trust your partner can be easier than others. Some people are more naturally open and optimistic.
While others may be more cautious and have been hurt in their lives by others, so they have more self-protection layers. Every person is different. Intimacy is about being vulnerable to another and that needs trust.
Regardless of where you are in this continuum, this article will help you find ways on how to rebuild trust in your relationship. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!
10 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
1# Learn how to communicate effectively with your partner
Developing trust is not easy without risk. This means being trustworthy requires risks.
Good communication is key to overcoming this. Without it, you may find it difficult to make your relationship grow stronger.
2# Don’t make promises if you can’t keep it
If you’re used to making promises and then breaking them, don’t be surprised if no one trusts you to keep your word even if the excuses you make are true.
If your partner asks you to commit to the relationship, be upfront, and admit it may be impossible to make a prior commitment.
When you think that you can’t do it, you better try to impress your partner by being mature and give the best in your relationship.
If you make the promise and are unable to keep it, you’re probably making your partner not to trust you anymore and to avoid listening to you when you make some excuses.
3# Do not keep secrets amongst yourself
Another way to build trust in a relationship is to avoid keeping secrets from your partner.
You and your partner need to be very honest towards each other. Trust needs honesty and openness. If you want your relationship to be filled with trust, you don’t have to keep secrets and be transparent to your partner.
To be a trusted partner, you have to be honest in all your interactions and conversations. Building trust and keeping secrets in a relationship are mutually exclusive.
Keeping a secret can tier your relationship apart. So, it is important, to be honest with your partner.
Having an open mind about your partner allows him or her to reveal their secrets, which is a sign he or she believes in you.
4# Take responsibility for your actions
Do not try to put the blame on your partner. Rather, show them some respect by admitting your faults.
When you try to cover up your mistakes people know you’re dishonest.
5# Don’t threaten your partner
One of the best tips I’ve ever got is not making decisions when you’re mad or making promises when you’re happy.
When you’re level-headed, try to make the decisions. If you make empty threats when you’re angry or frustrated and threatening to break up with your partner, it will be difficult to rebuild trust again.
On the other hand, under-promising and over-delivering are better than making a commitment you cannot keep.
Don’t try to scare the shit out of people, because it might get their attention for the few times but at last, they will start to get bored with your threat.
If your loved ones can’t trust you to believe what you say or to say what you mean, they won’t know when the words that come out of your mouth are safe to trust.
To establish faith in your relationship, keep the promises you make. If you can’t execute them, don’t promise.
6# Do not rush to judgment
You might not understand why something is important to your partner but don’t be in a haste to judge them. You have to value each other and the differences without prejudice before you can trust.
If someone’s words or acts are different from your own in a specific case, it’s too tempting to take it personal.
However, if you want to learn how to develop trust in your relationship, don’t leap to conclusions about the intentions of your partner, or their words and acts.
For their actions, you do not know the internal context, so avoid judging them out of your own internal context. Assigning your expressions and acts for their own definitions means that you don’t see them for what they are.
And jumping to judgment shows your partner that you think more about your own feelings than about theirs.
7# Realize and make things right for your mistake
Don’t be too stubborn to apologize when you hurt someone and ask for forgiveness. Do what you can to correct your mistakes. Pride kills a relationship.
Do not allow your ego to get in the way of trying to reconcile with anyone you hurt. You don’t always have to be correct all the time.
It’s better to encourage yourself to realize what you’ve done wrong, to apologize, make things right and move on.
Why I mention make things right?
This is important because your partner can trust you and get benefits from accepting your genuine apologies.
They have no obligation to pretend that what you have done is good, or that it doesn’t matter, or costs something. Try everything you can to make things right for the damage done.
8# Obtain honesty and take time to listen
Communicate regularly and do your part to be involved in the conversation by being an honest speaker and a good listener.
In creating the refuge of honesty and openness, you can both share your inner feelings without hesitation and fear of being judged.
Most of the strongest relationships are built on honesty, so make sure you do it right. Honesty is very important in your relationship.
9# Resolve relationship issues together
Trust your relationship and both of your ability to work together to solve every relationship problem that may arise.
You don’t have to let anybody else decide for you both. Never let them tell you what to do.
Having the power to fix anything that gets broken is a sign you can trust. To be the strength and refuge of your partner, especially during your relationship’s hardest times.
10# Never lie, no matter how terrible the truth is
Never lie to your partner if you want, he/her to believe you. Not just because you want to stop them from getting hurt. You also want to be completely happy in your relationship.
A love story based on lies can never last and this lesson has been learned by many the hard way.
No matter how hurtful and heart-breaking the truth might be, you have to do it and say it out loud.
Last But Not Least…
Trust is one of those things you can’t easily gain. You must earn it and you must keep working on it every day of your life.
Keep in mind, happiness in a relationship depends not only on the amount of love you offer but also on important values such as trust, loyalty, and commitment are important.
And make sure you don’t take any of these for granted.
Have you ever had a broken trust in your relationship? Let us know what happened in the comment!